Preventable or Not

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Updated May 14, 2012

Doe’s burger delivery not well done

After a tasty breakfast of Navajo Tacos at the West Winds Truck Stop in Green River, Utah, trucker John Doe continued his run to locally-famed Cowboy Bill’s All-Beef Burgers to deliver some shrinkwrapped cartons of soybean meal. Later, arriving at the burger joint, Doe pulled into the drive-through area adjacent to the service door and liberally sprinkled the area with bright orange traffic cones, just in case a blind and demented four-wheeler failed to see his huge long-nosed fire-engine-red Class 8 tractor and sparkling new trailer.

John Doe was waiting to be unloaded when a pickup roared around the corner of the restaurant and smashed into his trailer’s ICC bar. Was this a preventable accident?

While waiting to be unloaded, Doe updated his apps, simultaneously sucking a celery stick to improve his concentra … BLAM!! A mild tremor had rippled through Doe’s cab. What the blazes? Swallowing his celery in one convulsive gulp, Doe popped out of the cab and saw that Matilda “Missy” Hornswaggle’s rust-riddled Chevy pickup had roared around the corner and introduced itself – rather violently – to his trailer’s candy-striped ICC bar!

Safety Untitled 1Hornswaggle, wiping large amounts of Cowboy Bill’s Famous Ropin’ Sauce and burger fragments from her face, immediately accused Doe of backing into her vehicle. A nifty trick, Doe mused, considering Hornswaggle had run over some of his cones in the course of attacking his trailer!

Because Doe contested the preventable-accident warning letter from his safety director – who claimed that all professional drivers should be psychic – the National Safety Council’s Accident Review Committee was asked to render a final decision. NSC quickly ruled in Doe’s favor, noting that he had no control over maniacal Missy.